He always talked about the sea. That vast emptiness of blue somehow enveloped his mind all the time. “I want to travel the world,” he said, “I want to travel to all those places that are just short-stops for people heading to the big cities. Small places are the most beautiful. They’re those sceneries that everyone overlooks, the hidden gems of the world. But the sea,” he would say, “I would save the sea for the last stop on my journey. To be amongst something so much bigger than me would make me feel so alive. So very alive with the knowledge of knowing that I am just one man. A simple man in this world much like the fish. Small, some may even say insignificant, but part of a greater system. The sea is a dark place if it’s empty. All that space and not a single living thing relishing in its glory. Much like a life without the right people in it isn’t it?” He always talked about the sea, and then one day I understood why.

Hurricanes of emotions and tide pools of love

This is all I can offer for now

I am a child in the midst of something great

Something much bigger than me, bigger than us

I’m falling into this light that illuminates my every being

Enveloping me in this mad King Men’s wisdom

I want to be, with every fiber in my body a magnet for art and love

 But I’m scared

These monsters in the big cities, they wear such beautiful disguises

I won’t let them haunt me, I won’t let them change me

No matter how loud they speak, they will not tell me who I really am

No matter how much they try and try to pry open my mind and fill it with their narcissistic views, they will not take my thoughts away

No matter how hard they try to shut me down as they throw blasphemy my way, they will not take my love for this world away

I am a human being

I am whatever I choose to be

I am a magnet for everything beautiful in this world

I am not them or their greed or their hatred 

I am what they will never be

I am me

I remember the first time I set foot on the bus. I was a frail nervous thing. I sat down and planted my nose inside my book. There he was across from me. Calm and collected and beautiful. I had never seen anyone look so serene while reading. I wondered if that was what I looked like at times. Every day we sat across from each other on that bus, yet never spoke. A quiet bond grew the day I found his book in my seat awaiting me. I looked across to see him in his own world, his hands turning the pages of a new novel. I could not finish his book fast enough. He waited for me, reading the last page of his book for three days again and again. On the fourth day, I returned his book by placing it on his seat. We never spoke a word, but he would wait for me, he always did. He would reread the last sentence in a novel over and over waiting for me to finish, and when I did, there was always a book expecting me in my typical seat.

You’ve gone so far

From me that I’m wondering

Is your new place worth your pain and struggling

It’s been too long since I last saw your face

It’s different now not having you around

I want to tell you something so honestly

Won’t you turn around and come back to me

Come back to your home

The time seems like an eternity

Pack your bags and come right back home to me

There’s an emptiness around the house

It’s just something that I can’t explain

Life is harder with you so far away

Tears roll down my cheeks at night

Wondering if you’re alright

Not asking for much, just one thing

Won’t you turn around and come back to me

Come back to your home

The time seems like an eternity

My words are so simple

And crystal clear

So please

Just come back home to me

If you could have a wish

What would you wish for

All I want is peace

Because this world looks like it’s heading

Into a dark eternal night

I only wish to stop this

Somebody save us all

Look at the faces of the innocent

What have they done to deserve this

Let’s take a moment of silence

To remember our past heroes

That believed in something more than us

As I close my eyes

I can feel the world turning

Still my wish isn’t fulfilled

Look at the night

The moon is shining brightly

A ray of light in the dark

Take all the wars

Imagine as they never happened

There’s no more crying or dying

In this brand new world

I can only see these things when I’m dreaming

But still I have hope

I know that there is good in this world

And deep down in each of us

But still I can only wish

I’m so sick and tired of being laughed at

Just for being so young and so naive

I shouldn’t cry

Afterall, I’m not the one that is making the mistakes

Watching you just go by

Throwing your whole life away

Those words you whisper

I can hear them

They hurt, afterall they’re not meant to be heard

Being the social ghost that I am

There’s things I don’t understand

Is it because I’m so innocent

I just don’t fit into your circle

What if it’s all a quick dream?

Is it really there?

I can’t fall asleep but I sure can dream

Now I believe….

Long days and long nights

With this road we take

Just picture it

Take down all the doubt that slipped through the cracks

Just let things be

A dream out of my mind sewn into your soul

The summer mixed in gold

This road is sun-kissed

I’ve grown into this

We co-exist

I’m lost in it

Around this storyline

But is it really there?

Or is it just a fantasy out of my mind?

(entry for VersaEmerge lyrics contest)

I really do miss the past

Sadly moments from that time never last

I never considered myself a bad person

So why is it that I always suffer?

You make yourself seem like the victim in front of others

You’re nicer to strangers than to your own sisters and brothers

I’m sick of this game that you’ve created

Saying that you want love

Saying that you’re different

Trying to get others to pity you

But they don’t see all the damage that you do

You say that words have harmed you

But what of the poison that you’ve spat in my face?

I guess you don’t recall all those moments

You ignorant soul, when will you ever learn?

I come in to see you and you lock me out

Then you complain and you will shout

Why you feel all alone in this world

Why you feel like I don’t love you

Stepping my foot down now I’m through

Go be a fake with your friends

Because sooner or later they’ll find out about the real you

That mask that you wear

The pity seeds you plant everywhere

It’s all gonna blow up in your face

Oh what a day that will be

Your act will come tumbling down

The only real victim here was me

Sad part is you’ll be singing this song right back to me

Never expected this

Out of all the people in the world

What a tragic display

My life is forever changed

All my dreams crushed by the one I believed in the most

You were supposed to believe in me the most

Hold your head high my friend

After all I’m just distraught

Threw away all those years of hope that you taught

Forever sounds so far away

Your words I can’t ignore

Still hear them everywhere I go

Telling me to lose faith and go along my way

Life is not about love according to you

But it’s that and so much more to me

Why am I the failure if I’m still dreaming?

Take a look at yourself

You’re exactly what you discriminate

So don’t come around here

To tell me to hate

Everything I absolutely adore

For everything you’ve done

I believed in you and still do

So why is it that I can’t count on you?

These recent suicides from the past weeks and days are not something new. It is something that occurs frequently and unfortunately people are just starting to notice. All human beings are irreplaceable, all unique in their own way, and for that beautiful person to have taken their life because of something that others and society say, well that’s just not fair….

If only we could talk

If only you understood

This is who I am

Can’t take that away from me

Sadly some disagree

Can’t accept the fact

Face the reality

Why would you say that?

I’m a human being

Just like you

Walking down the streets

Looks of disapproval and mumbles

They don’t know who you really are

And yet they still judge

Don’t know who lied to you

Told you that you weren’t beautiful

Not just a stranger passing through

I accept you for who you are

Another night of tears down at the bar

They told you that you were a freak

But I believe that you will get far just for being who you are

Don’t listen to them

You’re making the mistake that almost ruined my life

Numb their comments out

After all it’s your life not their concern

A free spirited soul

Open minded and artistic

Achieving all your goals

You yourself are a work of art

They cast you out because you’re unique

They don’t accept anyone that doesn’t fit the cookie cutter mold

I’ll be here for you 100% my friend

Because I adore you for all the reasons they don’t